I’ve now been CEO for almost 10 weeks, and I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the experiences and lessons I’ve encountered so far. As I think about these past few months, I’ve realised that some of the most challenging aspects of this role were things I hadn’t anticipated before stepping into it.
Initially, I was concerned about how my tendency to hold onto tasks rather than delegate might translate into this role. I worried it might create difficulties for my team, and myself. But, I’ve found that delegation is so much easier when you’re working with an incredible team that has huge levels of passion, and a very specific and deep subject matter expertise, that far surpasses your own. It’s been a humbling and rewarding learning experience.
One of the more unexpected challenges I’ve faced has been the constant need to deal with contrasting environments throughout the day. A recent day last week is a good example. In the morning, I hosted a potential donor at our Welcome Space, doing my best to articulate our vision for the future, and Ark T’s positive impact on our communities. I wanted to present our work in the most persuasive way possible. It felt similar to working with law clients – so directly in my comfort zone.
However, within minutes of finishing that meeting, I found myself washing the lunch dishes from our free Holiday Creativity Camps – for children on free school meals. I wanted to give the team a break and communicate in a very practical way how much I appreciated their energy and dedication over the past 2 weeks. As I was cleaning up, the children pulled me in to join their conga line—still wearing my rubber gloves!
This sudden pivot from the corporate world just moments earlier felt almost disorienting. These fast paradigm shifts have become a daily part of my work, and I’m still adjusting to the pace and range of emotions they bring.
Another experience that has left a deep impression on me is the bittersweet nature of our work. For example, last week, we hosted a free Community Lunch that was a huge success in terms of turnout—many people came, including those who were in immediate need. One man told us it was the first meal he had eaten in two days. While I felt hugely proud of our team and the work we’re doing to meet such critical needs, I was also heartbroken by the reality that so many people rely on these services to get by. Balancing the joy of helping with the heartbreak of why that help is needed has been an emotional challenge.
Another challenging aspect of this role that has facing and unlearning some of my own unconscious biases. All of us hold unconscious biases, but I have in the past prided myself on being open and transparent in the way I think and operate. So it was quite eye opening to be confronted by a bias I’ve held unconsciously for a long time. It was during my first official speaking engagement as CEO - I was presenting to a room full of older, affluent, white men, most of whom leaned politically conservative.
I was quite worried about how they would receive me. Would they listen to me respectfully? Would they acknowledge me as a subject matter expert? Would they compassionately acknowledge the need of the communities that Ark T serves? Would they even allow me to speak without interrupting?
To my surprise and gratitude, the audience was engaged, compassionate, and eager to help. What was initially scheduled as a short 20-minute presentation stretched into an hour, with insightful questions, and thoughtful discussion. I left that event with a sense of gratitude. It’s made me realise that the armour that I’ve built up and that has protected me in the past – is too heavy now. I’m going to do my best to shed this armour, and the prejudice that it’s created.
On reflection, the lesson underlying all of these experiences is that, moving forward, I can choose from two very different approaches. I can choose to operate with hope and joy, or I can make decisions from a place of cynicism and pessimism. In many senses, the things we see in our work at Ark T could support either choice.
I’m going to choose hope and joy. Maybe you’ll join me?
With love
This blog post reflects my personal thoughts and opinions only and does not reflect the official stance or policies of Ark T. Thanks to chair of Ark-T's trustees for signing off and allowing me to publish.
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